just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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