yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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