You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
What a dumb baby whore.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
