smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
