you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
