So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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