i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
