I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize