he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
