woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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