He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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