Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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