i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize