i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize