Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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