Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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