hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
