i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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