Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
