When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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