Whod you bang
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
