And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
