It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
