I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
