just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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