Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
