**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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