Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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