But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
