Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
