woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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