Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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