if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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