jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
