It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
