how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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