That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
They have beer where we have blood.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
