dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
