We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I wish i was in the wii world.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
