Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Randomize
