No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
