i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
