He uses pillows to masturbate.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize