are you still at the devil's house?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
