all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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