TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
