As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
