I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
