Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
