Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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