If i come over, it means nothing
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
