She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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