i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
