I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
