I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
