I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
