and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
