girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize