Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
