we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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