Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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