my phone needs a breathalizer
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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