let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Blow job season was short but glorious.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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