Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
