How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
