you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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