sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
